- "I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole, we are going to have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit!"
- ―Gary Johnston
Early Life Edit
When Gary was four, he was practicing his acting at the zoo on a family trip with his mom, dad and older brother, Tommy. He was walking on the railing of the gorilla exhibit when he slipped and accidentally fell in. Tommy, forgetting he had strawberries in his front pocket, jumped into the exhibit to his little brother's rescue. The gorillas pounced on and threw Tommy around the cage, thus resulting in his death. After the tragic incident, Gary was devastated and the horrific event traumatized him throughout the rest of his life. Despite this however, Gary moved on to pursue his acting career and he went on to get various acting degrees.
He went on to become an all-American actor, who graduated from Iowa University summa cum laude with a double major in theater and world languages. According to Spottswoode, he's been at the top of every acting class since he was a child. He was also referred to as the greatest young actor the world has ever seen.
One night while performing the Broadway musical, Lease. Gary sung the song titled "Everyone Has AIDS." According to one of the producers in the backstage of the performance, "There wasn't a dry eye in the house." He then asked Gary how he made everybody cry from his great acting. Gary responds by saying that he just remembers the saddest moment in his life, the day his brother Tommy was killed. While in his dressing room thinking about his life, a mysterious man called Spottswoode, comes in and congratulates Gary on a great performance. Gary at first believes he's from Hollywood but it soon becomes clear that he's not. Spootswoode takes Gary outside to his limo, where his driver, Baxter, is waiting for him. Gary is reluctant to get into the limo as he believes Spottswoode wants to have sexual intercourse with him in order for him to get a part in a movie. Spottswoode then reveals he's not from Hollywood and Gary gets into the limo. He then offers Gary a job, to work in Team America, replacing a previous member of the team named Carson who was killed by terrorists in France. Spottswoode takes Gary to Team America's H.Q. at Mount Rushmore and introduces him to everyone. Gary is welcomed by most of the team with the exception of Chris, who takes an instant dislike to him. Gary refuses to join the team however because he doesn't believe he belongs there. Before leaving, a woman who also works for Team America, Lisa, tells Gary that he has the power to stop the terrorists. She gives him a card and leaves Gary to make his decision. When Gary leaves, he tells Baxter to take a detour so he can think about what Lisa said to him. After thinking it through, he decides to return to Mount Rushmore so he can join Team America and fight the war against terrorism.
Spottswoode assigns Gary a mission of going undercover as a terrorist to find out what they're planning. Gary is given the alias of Hakmed, and receives surgery from Sarah to help make him look more like a Middle Eastern man. With the disguise complete, the team heads to Cairo to infiltrate the terrorist cell. Gary is accompanied by all four other members of the team, being: Joe, Chris, Sarah and Lisa. Gary approaches a bar run by terrorists and uses his acting to get inside. Once inside, he meets up with the terrorist cell leader known simply as, the Chechnyan Terrorist. The terrorist believes Gary's story and he's accepted into the cell. However, another terrorist spots Team America members outside the bar and they make a getaway. Gary accompanies the terrorists in the back of a Jeep, which makes a getaway across the desert and is chased by Chris and Joe in a Hummer. After nearly being killed, Lisa arrives on a motorcycle and rescues Gary just in time before Chris and Joe kill the Chechnyan Terrorist. The mission appears to be a success and the team return back to the H.Q. to celebrate. Gary then speaks with Lisa outside and the two become close to each other. Lisa is unsure about getting close to Gary as she was in a relationship with Carson who was previously killed by terrorists, and she worries the same fate could happen to Gary. She is also wary as Sarah confessed she was attracted to Gary. Despite this, the two of them have sex and make love, after Gary promises to her that he will never die.
The following day, a massive terrorist attack happens at Panama Bay. Alec Baldwin, a film actor who Gary admires, speaks on the news and claims Team America is responsible. This in turn makes Gary think his acting was responsible for killing people. Distraught over the attacks, Gary leaves the team much to teams disappointment. Gary then goes to a bar where he gets drunk. He meets an old man at the bar, who tells him that he shouldn't feel bad about being a dick. The bartender orders Gary to leave after he throws up everywhere. Gary passes out in the street and after thinking things over, decides to return back to Team America. When he returns to Mount Rushmore, he discovers that it has been destroyed by Michael Moore in a suicide bombing. Spottswoode and the supercomputer, I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. are still alive however. Gary begs Spottswoode to let him back on the team and performs oral sex on him to be allowed back in.
Gary learns that Kim Jong-il, the leader of North Korea, is responsible for all the terrorist attacks and has the rest of the team held captive at his palace. Gary trains up and then flies to North Korea, where he infiltrates the palace. He frees Sarah, Joe and Chris from prison and the four of them make their way to save Lisa who is being held by Kim. After a battle with members of the F.A.G. (Film Actor's Guild) the four of them make their way to the main room where Kim is located. Gary then faces his idol, Alec Baldwin, and has to out act him in order to win the crowd over and convince them that Kim is a terrorist. Gary wins and the crowd applaud him. Kim then kills Alec Baldwin but is kicked over a railing by Lisa. Gary frees Lisa and stops the WMDs from activating across the world which Kim had planned. The two then reunite and start a relationship once again. Gary is now respected and admired by the rest of the team. Kim Jong-il however, is revealed to be a Zypod, an alien cockroach, who flees his human body and escapes in a miniature spaceship. Gary assures everyone that they will be waiting for him and will combat any further threats to the world from terrorism.
Before joining up with Team America, Gary is casually dressed in a black leather jacket, blue t-shirt with black stripes, grayish black pants and black shoes. He wears this outfit for everyday use such as when performing Lease on Broadway and when drinking in the bar later on. Once initiated into the team, Gary is surgically altered and given a white towel to wrap around his head with patches of black hair stuck to his chin to give the impression that he is a terrorist. Once his first mission is complete, he changes into the standard Team America uniform with a silver jacket and blue and white camouflage pants. His hair remains the same throughout, light brown and parted in the middle. Gary is also a master of disguises, as he takes the disguise of a Jedi like figure, wearing a brown hood and robe over his uniform, and a North Korean guard outfit which is a dark green army uniform with a hat. Gary even acquires a mask of a Koran guard which he pulls off when revealing his true identity to the team, after tricking Tim and Martin. The only other outfits Gary wears is a white jumper with blue jeans, which he casually wears at Mount Rushmore when celebrating the success of his first mission. Gary also wears three different outfits during his training montage including an outfit with a tracksuit and a hoody, a kung fu outfit and a standard outfit he trains in when he practices firing a gun at some targets. In his family photo, a young Gary can be seen wearing a black leather jacket as well, indicating he had a strong like for them even then.
|Team America members|
|Team America vehicles|