- "Please, Gary, I'm not from Hollywood. I'm not going to fuck your mouth, and my time is extremely valuable."
Early Life Edit
Little is known about Spottswoode's early life. He is quite old as can be determined by his appearance and grey hair. He is obviously financially well off, as he wears an expensive suit and owns a lot of expensive cars such as his white limo and has a personal chauffeur called Baxter drive him around.
After the death of one his team members, Spottswoode seeks out a new member for the squad. He believes that having an actor will be a great asset to the team. He scouts out Broadway actor Gary Johnston and attends one of his performances. After the show, Spottswoode chats with Gary and offers him a job. At first, Gary is skeptical, but Spottswoode takes him to his limo and manages to get Gary back to the team base located at Mount Rushmore.
Once at the base, Spottswoode introduces Gary to his team and tells him about terrorist attacks happening around the world. Spottswoode believes that Gary can use his acting to infiltrate a terrorist cell and prevent a terrorist attack from happening. After offering Gary the job, Gary turns it down, much to Spottswoode's surprise. However, Gary eventually returns and Spottswoode claims he knew he would all along. Spottswoode comes up with a plan. He uses Sarah to modify Gary's appearance to make him look Middle Eastern. Under the alias, Hakmed, Gary is sent to Cairo with the rest of the team to infiltrate the terrorist cell. The mission is a success.
Spottswoode calls for a celebration and the team celebrate with drinks back at the H.Q. This success is short lived however when a terrorist attack occurs at Panama Bay the following day. Spottswoode is shocked and angry with his supercomputer I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. for getting the wrong information. Gary however is distraught over the fact that this terrorist attack has occurred, and blames himself for the deaths of the innocent victims. Spottswoode begs Gary to stay but Gary refuses and leaves. Spottswoode gathers his team together and sends them to fight off a terrorist attack. He instructs the team from the base, but suddenly the base is invaded by Michael Moore, who blows up the base in a suicide bombing.
The rest of his team think Spottswoode is killed, he survives however and so does I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. The base however is badly damaged and Spottswoode is pretty injured from the attack. Spottswoode then attempts to use I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. to destroy the Team America vehicles so he can stop Kim Jong-il from carrying out a massive terrorist attack, whom he has discovered is behind everything. When Gary returns however, Spottswoode decides to give him one more chance, only if he performs oral sex on him. Spottswoode wants Gary to do this at it believes it will show him complete trust and dedication to the team. Gary agrees and Spottswoode becomes satisfied with Gary's commitment and knows he won't quit on them again. Spottswoode trains Gary in a short amount of time to prepare him for the mission. He then uses I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. to communicate with Gary and sends him to North Korea to rescue the team. Spottswoode speaks to Gary and the team from his base and informs them that Gary is fully committed to the squad.
Spottswoode is impressed with Gary's commitment when he see's the team confront Kim Jong-il and Alec Baldwin in the theater of Kim Jong-il's palace. When Gary uses his acting to win over the crowd, Spottswoode is very pleased. After the death of Kim Jong-il, Spottswoode announces to the crowd over a speaker that Gary is a man so dedicated to his cause that he is willing to suck the dick of another man to prove his dedication. The crowd applauds the revelation.
|Team America members|
|Team America vehicles|